Monday, March 24, 2008

WE Relationships - Rules of Engagement

By Niama S. Sandy‏

Expect the unexpected?

You're walking out the door and you realize you don't have your keys. You rummage and rummage, creating an even bigger mess than what may have already existed in your house and still after 20 minutes you got NOTHING. You sit down and decide you ain't goin no where again. You feel something poking you yuh look…it's your keys. But you still don't want to go anywhere. What does it all mean?

How many times have you decided that you were going to stop looking for "it," when the universe seems to align perfectly and the ever-elusive "it" finds you? In the quest to quench our thirsts for companionship we are often met with appetizers. How do you tell the difference between the first and third course? And with that I give you our anecdote for the month.

I have a female friend, we'll call her Cara. Cara, like me, often has frustrating (though, again like me, often wildly entertaining) encounters with males. From the man she was with who wasn't trying to move out of his parents' house, to the medical resident fella she met on Yahoo personals, it was one messy situation after another. Fortunately, this woman is one of the strongest and most resilient people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. With that in mind she decided a break from the disorder and disappointment was in order. Fast forward to two months after that decision; a friend invited her to his house warming. Also invited to this housewarming was a man the host wanted her to meet.

Interestingly and perhaps by providence, this man does not show. While Cara is standing in the doorway of the kitchen talking to the host, another man enters the kitchen. As he walked into the room, they locked eyes – okay maybe his eyes locked on to her behind. The host introduced them. They started to talk. They chatted for the rest of the party, went to an after party after that, exchanged numbers and chatted on the phone for five hours after that. They went out the day after that. For the next week, Danny was calling or trying to hang out with Cara every day. Though she liked him, she began to feel like he was trying to push her into relationship prematurely. As right as it felt, to a degree something just wasn't right. Should she ignore her instincts and go ahead anyway? Time will reveal…to be continued

The rule on engagement for this story…Patience is a virtue. In today's society there are countless ways that we try to expedite the process of finding a mate. From the million and one social networking websites to the ever-popular blind date, we are constantly trying to speed up another one of life's processes that happens in its own time. When it's time for it to happen it will happen. No amount of rushing it - or for some of us fighting it - will make life easier.

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