Saturday, January 5, 2008

Ask WE - Dear Sonya

Dear Sonya,

I have started a new job recently and I sit next to this guy who is married and has a family. We take our breaks together, we go for lunch together and we are always flirting back and forth. During lunch the other day, we each had a shot - to celebrate the holidays, when we got back into the car he reached over and kissed me (and much more!). When we got back to work, he started sending me these provocative emails and leaving notes on my desk. I admit , I really like the attention - I know that I am vulnerable, I haven’t been in a relationship for some time now, I don’t want to fall for him, but I find myself thinking about him all the time. I take that extra few minutes in the morning to make sure I look extra good. Am I doing something wrong?

Dear Wrong Attention,
You KNOW you are doing something wrong - otherwise you wouldn’t be writing. What you are to him is his "work wife" and that’s it. The same way YOU like the attention, so does HE. When it comes down to it, he is going home to his wife and family and if you are expecting more than that, then someone needs to tell you that you are being used. I know you like the attention, but when rumours start going around, it’s not going to be the type of attention you want- don’t turn into the office tramp.

Dear Sonya, I have been seeing this guy for about 4 weeks. We go out, have coffee, long hours of conversation and things are great. The other day I called him and he was out with his friends. When he answered the phone he was so rude to me. He didn’t even call me back that night. The next day, I felt so stupid, but I called him again on my lunch hour and left him a message and he didn’t return my call until the end of the day. I call him 7-8 times a day and he calls me once a day. I send him emails and he doesn’t respond. I feel like I am in love with him and he is my soul mate, but lately he has been treating me so bad.

Dear In Love,

Even your email is scaring me. You need to chill. Love does not happen that fast. Sure someone can fall OUT of love easily, but to fall in love take a little more time than 4 weeks. I hope during one of your long conversations you didn’t mention any of the above? Don’t confuse your infatuation with love or your NEED to be in love with 'love'. Stop obsessing over the relationship and lose the needy attitude; I’m sure you can find a life outside of this guy- so he will be a little more interested in you. Nothing more dull than a needy girl with no life of her own.

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