This month, we turn to a question for which everyone has his or her own answer. With the Trinidad Carnival season rolling up right around the corner, most conversations with our fellow Soca-lovers revolves around the plans and prep to ensure that "we ready fuh mas again". So what is your survival guide for the greatest show on earth, Trinidad Carnival?
There's a plethora of travel tips and online blogs dishing out advice for first time mas players, so I'm going to tell you what they won't. These are my tips for Trinidad Carnival in no particular order because they are all important and should be heeded equally:
- If you THINK you can lime with the big boys and feel the need to SAY that you can lime with the big boys - you probably CAN'T lime with the big boys. Keep in mind that when all your friends have also been liming with Johnnie, they can't lift a big man off the ground. They can't and they wont.
- If you hear that KFC is better than Royal Castle, please don't believe them. I don't care HOW much heck I catch for this one; I love a Royal Castle. Don't get me wrong, Trinidad KFC still beats Canadian KFC with a cricket bat but it still can't test Royal Castle Chicken & Chips.
- If someone tells you that the best way to experience J'ouvert is to walk around town trying to bounce up the various bands, don't listen to them. Be smart and play it safe. This is not the movie 300 and you are not the King Of Sparta. Pay your money to play your dutty mas with a J'ouvert band with security.
- Don't be the one. You know who I'm talking about, ent? Don't be the one in the crew who drinks the most, but when it's your turn to buy a rounds, yuh vanish like yuh name is Criss Angel.
- Ladies? I'm talking to you. I know that most women choose to wear tights on de road for mas which is great but what is not so great is when I can see the panty part all out in the road. What's that all about? How come some ladies wear tights where I can see all kinds of seams and lines all around the backside? I have never complained about seeing bamsee before, but ladies, please don't do that to us men.
- Now this advice is for the guys. One thing that everyone should experience is a Trinidad All-Inclusive fete. It is all you can eat and all you can drink but not like in Toronto where they give you one shrivel up cocktail weenie and call that George. A Trinidad All-Inclusive features food stations as far as the eye can see, so don't let me see man standing up nibbling on a small plate of cantaloupe. Unless a sexy lady is feeding you fruit, eating produce at an all-inclusive is unacceptable. And another thing! It is all you can drink, not all you can waste. Waste not; want not. Especially when it comes to a drink. Have some blasted respect.
- We have all heard of 'vex money'. It is sage advice from your mom. Always walk with your vex money because you just never know what the night has in store and you may need to be prepared to find your own way home. So put that money in your sock and remember: it can't help you get home if you just spent it on a round of scotch and coconut water.
- And lastly, don't eat a roti on the pavement in St. James even if your friend or family, who lives in Trini, says it safe. Our Canadian belly is not acclimatized like a Trini Belly and unless you want to lose a day's vacation while your belly is running like Ato Bolden, leave Aunty Indira and she roti right there.
So what de Doctor wants to know is: what's YOUR prescription for Carnival survival?
…. and THAT is the question.
Dr Jay de Soca Prince welcomes your feedback on this topic at drjay@wemagonline.com
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